VERSE-ATILE: Freestyle Friday – “Old Skool”
Happy Jazz Piano Old School Hip Hop Instrumental https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MqkLVJf_ru4
***Disclaimer: I get inspired to write these verses after listening to hip hop instrumentals (I randomly search them on Youtube) whilst high on weed, booze or (insert other). Now c’mon and rap along!
“Just an old fool who’s old skool, still using Protools, microphone turnin’ cold – “it’s a code blue!” / Yeah I’m so cool – no playin’, then go saiyan like I’m Goku / Call me Superman; I’m changing in the phone booth, I think I’m an alien but I got no proof / It’s the new me – that’s the old you, on the mic you Alicia Silverstone; you got no clue / Got a blunt with a cold brew – just lay back and play the track – chillin’ in a snowsuit / Didn’t you hear? I already warned you – I’ll lower your testosterone; you can call me tofu / Magneto; get inside your mind and control you, smoked three hits of DMT then I broke thru / Call me “the one” cause I believe there is no spoon, takin’ this to broadway like it was a show tune / Uh, regular emcees just won’t do – “So true” (girl’s voice), I do this like I’m ‘sposed to / And you can bring your whole crew – by the end of this verse everybody will be bros like Mario 2 / …. Sick like I got the cold flu – been ill since – becoming a “starving artist” like Prince / with no food, rare like a gold tooth – “Oh, ooh!” So new – even DJ Clue had no clue / Sometimes my mind is darker than when there’s no moon – like a black hole – we all got shit we go through… / We all gotta find something to devote to – for me it’s hip hop – for you it’s Porntube / Uh, got bills but still a broke dude -well-mannered but like Michelle Tanner I’m “so rude” /Breathe this beat like it’s O2 – I achieve in one verse what in one album you hope to / AndI’m on holiday, like Josh Holloway get “lost” or like Jeff Ross I’m a roast you /All you do is scroll thru Instagram and post nudes, but no one gives a damn and no you’re not“woke” like an alarm clock / with no snooze… plus like Rosie O’Donnell you get “no views” / Get it? Huh,I make sick tracks like a snowshoe, so sit back, relax like you’re on a boat cruise / Like peanut butter I am so smooth – now listen to this “jam” like when the traffic won’t move…” -freestyle by Problem-Addict
VERSE-ATILE: Freestyle Friday – “Mama Said Knock You Out” REMIX
Mama Said Knock You Out instrumental https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RteEZXVIMOg
***Disclaimer: Wrote this after taking smoking some weed. These deranged thoughts and machinations are just for fun. If you take offence, respond with a “freestyle rebuttal” in the comment section. Now bust out your mic and rap along! (Rapped in early 90’s gangsta rap style)
“Uh, hit that sweet spot, I can make a beat hot – listening to your critique is tequila – just a cheap shot / Bout to blow yo mind like a teapot – I am from Toronto otherwise known as the East Block (“T. Dot!”) / Lyrics cut like a blade that’s how I keep my teeth sharp – rippin’ mics to shreds like a reef shark / (buzz) Get shocked till you see sparks, runnin’ it like an engine till I make the fuckin’ keys start / Your brain is like a phone; overload and it restarts, I know you love my lyrics like an IG heart (“Aww”) / Takin over property like it’s beachfront, “Momma said knock you out! Now you see stars (ding ding ding!) / And I’m swinging from the treetops, ears look like cauliflower in a steam pot (“Ow!”) / Hip hop is my drug and I tweak hard, “Let’s get retarded in here-” Whoops! I mean dumb / Got more reefer than a weed crop, smoke so much you can say I gotta green thumb / I’m a showoff like a peacock – plus in the bed I’m a freak like Re-gan / MacNeil from the Exorcist – crazy bitches are the sexiest, climb on top of my / dick like it’s Everest, and blow me like a terrorist – Ooh! I came harder than Tyson when he’s peed off! / Uh, you can’t just put me down like a mean dog, plus on the mic I’m rock steady like I’m Bebop, ha / Flow tight like a reef knot – kinda vibe make you wanna get low like a V-top (whistle) / Like socks keep yo feet hot, melt the wax like it’s cheese on a pepperoni pizza (“Mmm”) / On the mic I rage – when I’m on the stage get no “boos” like a detox (crowd boos!) / Fuck you – I drop more shit than a seagull – spit so much of it I could clog a latrine stall (toilet flushes) / …You’re goin’ down like a straight flush – “Momma said knock you out” now here’s the referee call… (“He’s down!”)” -freestyle by Problem-Addict
VERSE-ATILE: Freestyle Friday – “Psycho”
Scooby Doo Hip Hop Instrumental https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jg8l5BeTAeI
***Disclaimer: Wrote this after taking 20 mg of Adderall and binge watching Dexter. These deranged thoughts and machinations are just for fun. If you take offence, respond with a “freestyle rebuttal” in the comment section. Now dust off your mic and rap along!
“Yo, from Adderall to Ritalin get fuckin’ wired when I inject it in like it’s insulin / Smoke a bit a weed then I get inspired and I start to battle rap against myself like I’m Eminem / Upstanding citizen; stand outside your window and ‘stalk’ you like what you’re investing in / You see me thru the window but you pretend not to, you take off your shirt and your bra too / Then your panties I can see you got boobs, sittin’ on the wood swing good thing I brought lube! (“Eww…”) / I slowly creep to your backdoor – it’s unlocked – so I walk through from the back porch (door creeks) / I can hear the shower runnin’, grab a knife from kitchen drawer, look through the keyhole in the door (Psycho sfx) / Open it just a crack and peek through – I can see you masturbating, the curtain’s see-through / You’re enjoying this just as much as me, ooh, pulled back the divider, her eyes went wider than a treeshrew! (“Ahh!”) / I grabbed the bitch and saran-wrapped her like Dexter, I told her not to worry “I’m an expert” / She asked “Why are you doing this?” I said “I know you like it, you saw me outside earlier don’t lie bitch! / First I’m gonna rape you then cut off your right tit, I’m gonna put the masking tape on now so keep a tight lip!” / She started struggling, I said “Don’t fight it, it’ll all be over soon you might as well invite it” / Undercover of moonlight I grabbed the knife blade, held it to her face, yeah I’m deadly like nightshade / Told her I’m into mergers and acquisitions by day, but really I’m into murder and executions by trade (“What?” / Like drugs it’s just something that I crave, urges that I can’t control like my brain– / Suddenly she freed her hand and reached under the pillow – she pulled out a dildo and it started to vibrate / She stuck it in my ass then turned it sideways – Fuck! – Fell off the bed and hit my head on the night ta-ble… / I awoke with a migraine, the bitch was standing over me with a mace on a spiked chain / “I knew you were a freak!” She said “I hope you like pain” and bludgeoned me with it until the sheets looked like wine stains…. / Suddenly I awoke in my bed, wet soaked in a sweat, happy I wasn’t chokin’ to death / I reached down gropin’ to check…and found the fuckin’ dildo stuck in my ass, IT’S OVER, THE END.” -freestyle by Problem-Addict