Between Be In Between I constantly walk a tightrope Never quite giving up, never quite committing Lingering in an state of purgatorial limbo An incessant internal torment My soul is never at rest Permanently caught In Between tween
Rain I feel like today is a good day to write.. The patter of rain in the background the soundtrack to my lyrics The gentle thunder like rumblings from within Calm yet restless darkness with brief flashes of light My heart pours onto the page bursting from heavy purple rain clouds A seemingly endless reservoir flowing from a broken dam Now lulling me off to sleep till it just becomes white noise Infusing with my dreams washing away my worries
Trapped I feel trapped... A flickering moth, abducted by the light in an eternal state of phototaxis A struggling rat, caught in a mousetrap gradually accepting the thought of death A cocky roach, appendages paralyzed by amber molasses feelers erratically flailing in distress A tiny ant, drowning in a pool of honey gulping every last, sweet breath of air A jittery fly, tangled in spider's web unwittingly preparing itself to be its next meal A busy bee, suddenly engulfed in green teeth while greedily drinking at its deceitfully sweet nectar A naive rabbit, snagged by metal cuffs wildly spasming with each attempted escape A fluttering butterfly, snatched in soft mesh impulsively flapping its wings to take flight A dangling fish, held proudly from angler's hook desperately gasping for atoms of air A restless dog, tightening its leash with each futile tug foolishly strangling itself to get ahead A tamed tiger, restlessly stalking its cage endlessly pacing, awaiting the day its at last released An imprisoned primate, thrashing about in its manufactured enclosure painfully aware of its dire and futile predicament thinking Let me out I want to live
Stuck I am stuck An invisible force holding me down Gravity binding me to the ground I try to get up, but I feel three times my weight I want to get up, but this constraint is overpowering I go to get up, but I am unable to move Caught in a Venus flytrap Feeling inevitable death but doing nothing about it No one can help me I am stuck
Supersymmetry I am me, but there is another me Completely opposite Moving in the right direction Unknowingly spinning me backwards in the opposite direction A contradictory pair Dancing through time Both partners unaware of the other Invisibly influencing the other I wish I could detach and just float away So I could map out my own path Unaffected by myself
Sun Sun filters in Forming a rectangular shape Penetrating my safe enclosure Reminding me The outside world still exists If only I could harness it to power my body To get out of bed Now that’s solar power!
finally! I'm finally going to... start a podcast! who the fuck would listen to that? perform at open mic night! who would find you funny? apply for that job! why the fuck would they hire you? get in shape! what shape? start jogging! yeah, to the convenience store maybe start my business! are you joking? get my life in order! what life? I am ready! no you're not This time I'm going to do it! I don't think so Today's the day! maybe tomorrow I'm gonna start on it first thing... we'll all be waiting with bated breath
4.13.21 – Vision “Vision without action is a dream.”
Why don’t I have a vision? Something that guides me, and motivates me along the way? I can envision so many great things, almost will them into being. But by own future moves along a different timeline. I can open the door to my mind, yet have no access my future. Even a hazy vision would be fine; it doesn’t have to be crystal clear. When I close my eyes, all I see nothing but darkness, still I can hear the voices sneering and snickering hiding in the corners of my mind. I suppose that’s what therapists are for. Wait a second – my vision is to have a vision. Eureka, I’ve got it! Time to get to work. What is my vision? Why don’t I…
3.04.21 – Cog in The Machine
Most men are simply a cog in the machine… In that they, no matter how integral, are just part of what makes the whole contraption run. But they, too, will be replaced after churning out their best work, put through the grind, worn and abraded, a thick layer of elbow grease, blood, sweat and tears, with another just like him but at cheaper cost. None the matter; as long as this thing keeps running. Now go back to work!
3.03.21 – A Man
What is a man, if not his word? A man is his promise. And I cannot keep promises. In fact, anything I’ve “promised” you before this very writing could not and should not be counted on. And for that, I apologize. I am human, but I feel more like a scrapped blueprint for one. “I am my thoughts,” and my thoughts are made of shame and regret. Shame and regret for what? For letting myself down; for I know what a man is – sense one when he is in my presence – and I am not that, although it is what I strive to be: to finally become A Man.
The Big Bang Everything existed in the beginning infinitesimally small Boundlessly projecting itself across a blank void Weaving the matrix Simultaneously creating and destroying everything in its path Affecting the past Manifesting the future Riding the arrow of time into infinity Leaving us in its wake like a desert mirage Nothing exists it's only the light we see, how it used to be Look on the bright side carpe diem!
Race Against Time A race against time There's too much time in the day to be motivated And not enough time to get anything done The ultimate enigma But the clock is neutral to whether it wins or loses Its hands taunting with each tick toward death