I feel heavy. A constant weighing down; I try to pick myself up, but it’s almost impossible. I try to inspire, to motivate my myself, but it’s like pushing against gravity; I don’t budge. I know I have potential, I know I do! But…it remains stagnant, unmoved by my intentions. I feel sad. I can’t really figure out what’s wrong with me…am I depressed? And if so, am I depressed because of my circumstances or simply because I am depressed, like a never ending cycle, perpetual motion.... I feel hope. I have more opportunity than ever. But I’m so scared I won’t be able to follow through, the thought of starting anything frightens me. I don’t want to let down my partners, my friends, and perhaps overall, myself. I feel chaotic. Like a constant battle going on, a magnet: positive and negative; drive and break; up and down; good and evil. How can I find a happy medium? Drugs, prescriptions, psychoanalysis, it’s all available. I’ve tried some in the past, I just wish I could do this on my own without anyone’s help…. I feel foolish. Immature, and selfish asking for others’ help, even though I know they would happily offer it. I want to do it on my own, but that may be impossible...I’m not sure where I’m heading…. I see the sunlight above the clouds, but it’s far in the distance………. Will I ever reach it?